Steaks in a truck?

Walt Kowalski and I did a little recon this evening.  We went to check out the progress at House #1 (very nice) and make a list of supplies for tomorrow's activities. 

We were home early, for us, and were sitting in Big Red cleaning out the receipts in the center console when a white pick-up truck drove UP the driveway and stopped right in front of Big Red.  {Red Flag #1}  Except for the mayor and Chainsaw Johnny when we're loading wood, nobody drives UP the hilly portion of the driveway.  That's the exit.   

He must be lost.  A young guy jumped out of the passenger side and said "Hey guys can I ask you a question?"

Ah yes, lost.  I was expecting to give directions to the highway.

WRONG.

Instead, this young man tried to sell me steaks!  He said he was just delivering an order to our neighbor so-and-so, a neighbor I've never heard of.  {Red Flag #2} He gave me the sales pitch of a lifetime.  Much like people on the telephone, I don't like to be rude. He's just trying to make a living.  I'll listen.  But I don't like high pressure sales. 

I should have been rude.  Man, oh, man.  He started pulling frozen steaks out a box and laying them on the driveway.  Strips, rib eye, fillets, Delmonico... the list went on.  Then he pulled out the box of pork.   He also had a big box of chicken and a big box of fishes.  Please no. 

Of course he had a special for today.  Buy 1 box, get 1 box free.  It was a deal I couldn't pass up. 

"Do you eat steaks? What kind of steaks do you buy?  What about ground meat? This meat will last for a year."

I thought that's where I had him.  I said 'Well, we mostly eat venison.'

"PA road kill!" he said.  Then he started into a second round of fast talking sales. 

Ok, now I was offended, no thanks.  Besides, my freezer is usually at capacity. I have very little room for some chicken breasts, let alone one or two boxes of frozen steaks. 

Then he tried to convince me that all of these steaks would only take up the space of a loaf of bread in my freezer.  No thanks. 

But wait, he's got a coupon special for new customers.  $50 off an order. 

No, thanks. 

Ok, how about two coupons?  He's just trying to finish his day and get rid of some merchandise so he doesn't have to take it home. 

No, thanks. 

Really, they don't take up much space in the freezer.   How about the coupons in the magazine that comes in the mail?  Even if I didn't have one, he'd give me that special. 

At this point, Walt Kowalski, who was trying not to laugh, had taken the house keys, unlocked the front door, opened all the windows in the house, came down through the game room and opened the garage door. 

No, thanks.  I was still getting a sales pitch.  He was throwing numbers at me.  Dollars per steak.  Dollars per person.  Dollars per meal.  Blah, blah, blah.

I had enough.  I just wanted him to leave.  He got the point and packed up his steaks and headed to the truck.

But wait, there's more!  As he was packing up and putting everything back in his truck, he said he had just one more offer.  Half price.  Buy one get one free at half price. 

No, thanks.

Walt Kowalski closed the garage door and locked it tight.